The Reverse Culture Shock

 welcome back to Unapologetically Both. 

Today, I want to talk about something that nobody warned me about. Moving to Germany 25 years ago was a culture shock. I expected that. Learning a new language. Understanding German directness. Discovering that shops close on Sundays. Trying to decode German bureaucracy. I knew those things would take time.

But what nobody prepared me for... was going back to India even for a few weeks of holiday and getting a reverse culture shock.

Because here's the strange thing. After living in Germany for 25 years, visiting India no longer feels like simply going home. Sometimes... it feels like arriving in another foreign country.

And the first time I admitted that—even to myself—I felt guilty. How could the place where I was born suddenly feel unfamiliar?"

"It's the little everyday habits that catch you off guard. Suddenly, I’m surprised when a meeting starts an hour later than planned. I automatically reach for a seatbelt in the back seat of every single car. I instinctively look for a queue instead of gently finding my way to the front of a crowd.

And when someone says, 'We'll see,' my German brain quietly asks, 'So... is that a yes or a no.

My Indian friends tease me all the time. They say, 'You've become so German!' And maybe they're right.

But then, I return to Germany. The train arrives exactly on time... well, they used to. Now the German train system has basically become a joke! But still, people lower their voices on public transport. The supermarket cashier scans my groceries with Olympic speed, always greets me, and says thank you. driving on express is fun again. Everything feels organized, and I think, 'Okay, I'm home.'

But then, the moment I'm back in Germany, I instantly start missing the incredible service industry I enjoy in India.

In India, life moves with this amazing, instant convenience. All the shops are open seven days a week, for long hours. You can order absolutely anything online and it is delivered to your doorstep instantly. If you need a doctor, you get an appointment immediately. Medical facilities are open until late at night, and you get your test results sent directly to your phone via email and WhatsApp. you can go to any lab to do your tests on your own. you do not need a note from your family doctor for that.  domestic help service is cheap and available 7 days a week. you don't need to wait months just to get a handy man to repair small things at home. 

In Germany? The service industry practically does not exist! For every single thing, you have to wait for days, weeks, sometimes months. It is incredibly frustrating. even if you get this help it is super expensive and bad quality. 

Do you see the paradox? I now have two places that feel like home. And two places where, occasionally, I feel like a visitor. Someone will wish me a pleasant evening in Heidelberg, and sometimes, when I'm in India, I deeply miss the quiet of a Sunday morning here. But I am always caught between both.

People always ask me, 'After 25 years, do you feel more Indian or more German?'

I never know how to answer that question. Germany has shaped me. India has shaped me. Neither cancelled the other out. They simply added new chapters to the same story.

When you only know one way of living, it's easy to assume it's the normal way. But when you've experienced two cultures deeply, you realize that 'normal' is often just another word for 'familiar.' One culture isn't right. The other isn't wrong. They're simply answering life's questions in completely different ways.

So if you've ever returned to a place you once called home and felt unexpectedly out of step... please don't think you've lost something. Because very few people get the privilege of loving more than one home.

This is Unapologetically Both. And this is where we stop asking whether we belong here or there... and start embracing the extraordinary life that unfolds in the space between.

Because perhaps home isn't a destination we return to. Perhaps home is simply the person we've become through every place we've loved.